For those of us who have left church, faith communities and are navigating the complexities of religious trauma, Christmas can be a tough time.
It can be difficult seeing the lights, decorations, and hustle surrounding the festive period when your experience is clouded with grief and loss or memories of a being part of a church at Christmas.
The Christmas I Used to Know
Christmas while I was part of the church, was a time of work and spreading the good news of Jesus. It wasn’t just busy in the shops, it involved new songs to practice for Christmas services, organising and running the Christmas carols night, Christmas youth events, Christmas specific activities for Sunday school and the constant pressure to be posting Christ led Christmas posts on social media.
It was exhausting!
Acknowledging the Emotion
So many emotions can be experienced at a time like this; there many be grief, loss, loneliness, sadness, yearning, resentment, hopelessness, anxiety or regret. It can feel like everybody is in the festive spirit, except for you and that can be a deeply lonely place to find yourself.
When so many of the rituals and festivities involve some aspect of religion it can feel like you have no way to celebrate Christmas in a new authentic way; but it is important to find ways to celebrate what is at the core of Christmas – joy, love, peace and generosity while still honouring your healing journey of religious trauma.
The Value of Rituals
Rituals offer a sense of control in the midst of chaos, providing a structured and predictable framework that can be especially comforting during difficult times. Engaging in rituals can provide comfort and peace; they can also offer a way to engage and connect with loved ones. Shared rituals, whether they’re family traditions or cultural practices, create a bond and fosters a sense of community and support.
Rituals can help individuals can engage in a creative and meaningful process, expressing themselves and finding a sense of agency in their healing journey.
New Holiday Rituals
- DIY Decoration Day
- Baking
- Cookie Decorating
- Community Giving/Volunteering
- Pot Luck with Friends
- Holiday Movie Marathon
- Gingerbread House Making
- Family Festive PJ’s day
- DIY Gift Exchange
- Candlelight Games Night
- Holiday Dance Party
- Reflective Journalling on the Past Year
- Virtual Gathering with Distant Loved Ones
- Christmas Light Looking
Seek Support
If this holiday period feels extra heavy or difficult, it’s okay to reach out for extra support.
I offer therapy online Internationally (except US & Canada) and will be available for appointments throughout the Christmas period. Please reach out if you would like to book a session.
You can also connect with me over on Instagram