Faith deconstruction is often described as tearing down, unraveling, or even demolishing a belief system that no longer fits. But what happens after the dust settles? What comes after the questions and doubts? The answer may surprise you: it’s rebuilding. It’s reclaiming a faith or spirituality that feels true to you—one that resonates with who you are, not who you were told to be.
But let’s be real. Rebuilding faith is a little bit like trying to put together IKEA furniture without the instructions—frustrating, messy, and sometimes, pieces just don’t seem to fit (and where are those extra screws from anyway?). But it’s also deeply personal, rewarding, and completely worth the effort when you finally step back and see the whole picture.
The Courage To Rebuild
First off, let’s acknowledge something: rebuilding faith after deconstruction is brave. It takes courage to start from scratch, especially when the original structure seemed so solid for so long. For me, the idea of rebuilding was intimidating at first. After spending years questioning and pulling apart the belief system I grew up with, I wasn’t sure I had the energy or desire to reconstruct anything at all.
But here’s the truth I learned along the way: rebuilding isn’t about recreating what was lost. It’s about creating something new, something that reflects the person you are today. And it’s okay if that looks completely different from what you once believed.
Faith and spirituality are not “one size fits all.” So, don’t worry if yours ends up looking more like a patchwork quilt of different influences rather than a perfectly symmetrical doctrine. That’s kind of the point—this time, it’s your quilt.
Getting Curious
The first part of reclaiming your faith or spirituality is to get curious. No, really—become a full-time detective of your own soul. Ask yourself, “What do I want to believe? What makes me feel connected, grounded, and alive?”
Maybe you still believe in a higher power, but your understanding of that power has shifted. Or perhaps you’re drawn to mindfulness, meditation, or connecting with nature. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to explore it. This isn’t about finding the “right” answers—it’s about discovering what resonates with you on a soul-deep level.
And if it feels a little weird at first, like you’re trying on clothes that don’t quite fit yet, that’s okay. Think of it as spiritual window shopping. You’re allowed to try things on, walk around in them for a while, and decide if they feel like you. No pressure to commit to anything just yet.
Embrace The Questions
Here’s the thing about rebuilding: questions are your friends. In fact, questions are probably going to be your best mates for a while, and that’s totally fine.
I used to feel guilty for not having all the answers. In religious settings, there’s often this pressure to have things neatly figured out. But now? Now I’m much more comfortable with a good old, “I don’t know!” (It’s liberating, trust me!) The beautiful part about this phase is that the questions themselves often bring more clarity than answers ever did. Lean into them. Allow yourself to ask without the need to know.
And if you ever feel like you’re floating in a sea of uncertainty, remember—there’s no rush. The ocean of questions may be vast, but it’s also filled with infinite possibility. You’re exploring, and explorers are never in a hurry.
Find Your People
Deconstructing faith can be a lonely journey at times, especially if the community you once had no longer resonates with you. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to do it alone. Rebuilding faith often means finding a new kind of community—people who get it, who have walked a similar path, and who understand that faith can be messy, evolving, and beautifully complex.
It might take time to find your people, but they’re out there. Whether it’s an online group, a local meetup, or even a few close friends who just get you, surround yourself with those who allow space for your questions and your growth. These are the people who will cheer you on when you’re rebuilding, even if you’re still figuring out what that new structure will look like.
And hey, if your search for spirituality happens to involve existential crisis wine nights or “what the heck do I believe now?” coffee chats, embrace it. (Bonus points if they bring snacks.)
Create Your Own Practices
One of the most empowering things you can do in rebuilding faith is creating practices that work for you. This is your chance to design a spirituality that is meaningful, grounded, and deeply personal.
Do you feel most connected when walking in nature? Great! That can be your form of prayer. Does journaling help you process your emotions and thoughts? Amazing—make it a sacred ritual. Perhaps you still love certain traditions from your old faith, but with a new interpretation—fantastic. You get to choose what stays and what goes.
For me, this has meant incorporating practices that help me feel centred, like music, sensory rituals, lego building, walking, and, yes, Missy Higgins’ lyrics on repeat. There’s something about the way she writes that reminds me it’s okay to be in process, to feel deeply, and to embrace life’s questions with open arms. Her songs have become a sort of spiritual practice in themselves—mini-sermons of love, loss, and growth. Find your Missy Higgins!
Let It Be Yours
Most importantly, let your spirituality or faith be yours. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. If it doesn’t fit into a neat little box, that’s not only okay—it’s perfect.
Your second act of faith is about reclaiming your agency, your spirituality, and your connection to something greater than yourself, whatever that looks like for you. It’s about showing up authentically, knowing that your journey is valid, no matter how unconventional it might seem to others.
And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise? Politely remind them that you’re the one writing your own story now – take that damn pen back. You’re allowed to have doubts, ask questions, and rebuild something that feels like home to your soul.
A Final & Personal Note
As someone who has walked this path myself, I know how hard it can be to let go of the certainty you once held and venture into the unknown. There were moments when I felt like giving up entirely, unsure if I would ever find a sense of spiritual belonging again. But slowly, piece by piece, I rebuilt something new—something that felt true to me.
It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. And here’s the best part: I’m still building that sense of spirituality. My faith isn’t static. It grows and shifts with me. Some days, I don’t have a clue where it’s going, but I’ve learned to be okay with that. Because at the end of the day, faith isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up with an open heart, ready to rebuild in a way that honours who you are.
So, wherever you are in your journey, take heart. You don’t have to rush the process. The second act will come in its own time. And when it does, it will be yours—built on curiosity, connection, and courage.
If you would like to work through some of this – reach out. I would love to witness and walk this path with you.
You can also follow along over on Instagram – perhaps you will find some of your people over there.