Life is chaotic. It gets busy, and the older we get the less time we seem to have. However, that’s not the chaos I am talking about. I am referring to the chaos of the mind, it can get pretty busy up there also.
Sometimes, I look back on the version of me who was knee-deep in church life and feel exhausted on her behalf. I don’t know how I did it – I was always going. When I wasn’t externally busy – I sure was on the inside, always anxious that I was praying enough, reading the bible more than last week. Constant and never ending striving.
I was lucky enough to connect with Joy Vetterlein, and she was the first guest on Beyond the Surface (you can listen to it here, by the way). She described this experience as ‘frantic thinking’ – it was the most accurate term I had heard.
Frantic Thinking?
Yep, frantic thinking. You could use more clinical terms like rumination or anxious thoughts, but they don’t seem to encapsulate what it feels like.
I remember it all too well, a constant stream of thoughts around prayer, devotion, evangelism, church, bible study, youth group – you get the picture. Everything could have an eternal purpose, so everything mattered. That creates chaos in your mind.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t just leave when you leave the church or deconstruct; it just changes and sometimes even amplifies. Now, you get to add fear of making the wrong decision, fear of hell, grief over lost relationships and faith, thoughts around what you believe now. As well as going over everything that you have been through up until now – your lens has changed and so that forces you to see things differently.
Frantic thinking is overwhelming, consuming and ongoing.
Finding ways to create calm, and rest is needed – you gives you both a sense of clarity and a sense of peace. So, here are 10 simple ways that I have found to be helpful in settling the mind.
For The Creatives
- Mindful Drawing: Grab a pen and paper, and let your hand move freely. Focus on the motion and feel of drawing rather than the outcome.
- Dance It Out: Put on your favourite song and dance like no one’s watching. Let your body move freely and release any pent-up tension.
For The Nature Lovers
- Nature Sound Bath: Sit quietly and listen to nature sounds, either live outside or through a recording. Pay attention to each sound and let it wash over you.
- Cloud Watching: Lie down and watch the clouds float by. Focus on their shapes and movement, letting your mind drift along with them.
For Those Who Love A Sensory Experience
- Sensory Grounding: Engage your senses by focusing on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
- Guided Imagery: Close your eyes and picture a peaceful scene in detail. Imagine yourself there, engaging all your senses to fully immerse in the experience.
For The One’s Who Want To Get Into Their Body
- Breath Visualisation: Imagine your breath as a colour. Visualise the colour filling your body as you inhale and dispersing as you exhale.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and then slowly release each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head.
And The Ones Who Love Words
- Gratitude Jar: Write down things you’re grateful for on small pieces of paper and put them in a jar. When you’re feeling stressed, read through them.
- Affirmation Stones: Write positive affirmations or calming words on small stones and keep them in a bowl. Hold one in your hand and repeat the affirmation when you need to calm down.
Are these going to cure the frantic thinking or the inner chaos? No. They will help calm your body and mind though.
You don’t need to do all of these, or any of them; maybe there is something else entirely. That’s okay, this is not an exhaustive list, though consistency is always going to be best. While you are trying something new, be patient and remind yourself that it can take time.
If you are struggling with the impact of religious trauma, or leaving high control religion I offer therapy in this space both in person in Goulburn, or online Worldwide (excluding US & Canada).
Contact me if you would like to discuss booking an appointment.