Rating
Book Blurb
Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, Cait West was homeschooled and could only wear clothes her father deemed modest. She was five years old the first time she was told her swimsuit was too revealing, to go change. There would be no college in her future, no career. She was a stay-at-home daughter and would move out only when her father allowed her to become a wife. She was trained to serve men, and her life would never be her own.
Until she escaped.
In Rift , Cait West tells a harrowing story of chaos and control hidden beneath the facade of a happy family. Weaving together lyrical meditations on the geology of the places her family lived with her story of spiritual and emotional manipulation as a stay-at-home daughter, Cait creates a stirring portrait of one young woman’s growing awareness that she is experiencing abuse. With the ground shifting beneath her feet, Cait mustered the courage to break free from all she’d ever known and choose a future of her own making.
My Thoughts
Wow. Just Wow.
I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of this book and I am so thankful!
Cait’s story is both harrowing and healing to read. She writes about something so painful and traumatic, in a way that I have never read before. Weaving her life experiences into nature, you gain not just understanding of what her life has been like, but how she experienced it.
The concepts around spiritual abuse, christian patriarchy, authoritative parenting, toxic theology, mental health are not spoken about enough. At times, when they are spoken about; they will be coming from a place of anger and bitterness – and rightly so sometimes. However, you will not get this tone from Cait, she has written this from a place of wholeness and healing.
For some of you, the christian patriarchy and stay-at-home daughter movement may be new to you. I would suggest that you approach Cait’s book with openness, curiosity and a willingness to sit with the uncomfortable realities for many people.
You wont just be reading words on a page; you are reading someones life. You will feel that.
My Favourite Bits
“The messages I was hearing were clear: Be attractive, but not sexy. Be smart but be quiet about it. Women can vote but only for the men their fathers or husbands vote for. Be a leader, but only to younger women. Be pure of heart; don’t feel things you aren’t allowed to feel. Be pure of body; don’t show it off. Be skinny, but don’t idolize your body. Be kind, but not to yourself. In order for chivalry to exist, for men to be what they need to be, women must become dependent, needy, fragile.”
“I was told so many times that God had a plan for my life. I was promised that suffering would lead to blessing, that my patience would be rewarded with joy beyond measure. Time after time I was told I just needed to obey my father. My father, telling me to do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, plan the meals, be more patient, read my Bible more, pray more, trust more, stop feeling love. I had scolded myself often for me so full of doubt, so full of pain, telling myself my suffering would make be godlier. I just needed to trust in God’s will for my life, even if that meant heartache. “
“The truth is patriarchy forces conformity. It relies on hierarchy and oppression to survive. The men at the top benefit and everyone else is left trying to get close to power. The enablers are often girls and women who unknowingly believe that their safety relies on obeying the rules that a society made by men has created for them, rules of behavior and clothing, of outward appearances. We teach each other how to behave”
“Too often, I felt as though the people of God thought that the life on Earth was just a waiting period until we will be in heaven, as if thinking about God is more important than honoring and caring for the rest of creation.”
Overall
You will laugh and you will cry. You will get angry and you will feel hopeful.
‘Rift’ paints a picture of what healing actually looks like, not the fluffy idea many people have in their mind. The important thing that Cait will leave you with is that whilst healing is ongoing, that it is likely going to be hard – that healing is possible.
Where Can I Get It?
Launching on April 30th 2024, here it is on Booktopia and Amazon for pre-order.
If you would like to connect with Cait – you can find her on Instagram.