I few weeks back, I wrote a blog on ‘Pendulum Thinking’; if you haven’t read it you can check it out here. Talking about this topic with many of my clients, many ask the question ‘how did I not notice this?’.
Most importantly, offer yourself some self-compassion if you find yourself thinking it too. You weren’t supposed to notice, thats the whole point. However, I wanted to highlight 6 ways we can identify it in an effort to foster more moderate, sustainable perspectives.
1. Listen for extremes
Extremes often manifest as all-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking. This occurs when someone views issues, beliefs, or practices as entirely good or entirely bad. There is little recognising of the nuances in between. This thinking is particularly prevalent in communities or individuals recovering from rigid environments. They may swing from strict adherence to a belief or rule to completely rejecting it.
Examples:
- “If you’re not all in, you’re not a true Christian.” This statement implies that there’s only one way to be a Christian and disregards the diversity within the faith.
- “We used to be too legalistic, so now we don’t follow any rules at all.” This illustrates a complete rejection of structure in reaction to a past experience with legalism, without considering that some rules or guidelines can be beneficial.
Extremes can be damaging because they don’t allow room for individual experience growth, or the complexity of real-life situations. This thinking can lead to burnout, disillusionment, or a continual cycle of swinging between extremes.
2. Identify Reactionary Language
Reactionary language is often rooted in past negative experiences. When someone swings from one extreme to another, it’s usually in response to something they felt was harmful or oppressive. Instead of finding a balanced, thoughtful response, they might overcorrect. This can create new issues or perpetuate the same cycle of harm.
Examples:
- “After years of being controlled, I now reject all authority.” This shows a reaction to past control by completely rejecting all forms of guidance or leadership, which can lead to chaos or a lack of support structures.
- “We were so focused on grace that now we emphasise discipline above all.” This demonstrates a shift from valuing compassion and forgiveness to prioritising rules and structure, potentially neglecting the importance of grace.
Reactionary shifts can prevent true healing and growth because they’re often rooted in unresolved pain or trauma. It’s important to address the underlying issues rather than simply swinging to the opposite extreme.
3. Watch For GroupThink
Groupthink occurs when a community or group collectively adopts an extreme position. It’s often without critical thinking or allowing for dissenting opinions. This can be especially harmful in faith communities, where unity is often valued. It often comes at the expense of individual voices and perspectives.
Examples:
- “We used to believe in strict dress codes, but now we reject any standards.” This reflects a collective shift that doesn’t allow for individual interpretation or moderate positions, potentially alienating those who find value in some standards.
- “Our church was all about emotional worship, but now we only do intellectual study.” This represents a swing from one form of worship to another, possibly losing the richness that comes from integrating both emotional and intellectual aspects of faith.
Groupthink can stifle diversity of thought and experience, leading to a lack of growth and a perpetuation of extremes. It’s important to create spaces where multiple perspectives can coexist and contribute to a more balanced community.
4. Pay Attention To Polarised Narratives
Polarised narratives often frame past experiences, beliefs, or practices as entirely wrong and current ones as entirely right. This type of thinking can be an indicator of unresolved issues preventing individuals from integrating their past healthily.
Examples:
- “We were all blind before, but now we’ve found the only true way.” This narrative dismisses the value or truth in past experiences and creates a sense of superiority in the present belief system.
- “That was the old me; this is the new, enlightened me.” This implies a complete rejection of the past, which can prevent learning from previous experiences and appreciating the journey of growth – a key facet in spiritual bypassing. It also again highlights a sense of superiority and toxic positivity.
Polarised narratives can lead to a fragmented sense of self and community. By dismissing the past entirely, individuals and groups miss out on the opportunity to learn from their experiences and integrate those lessons into a more balanced, nuanced approach.
5. Look For Binary Decision Making
Binary decision-making is when choices or beliefs are framed as either/or, with no middle ground or room for complexity. This type of thinking is common in environments where simplicity is valued over complexity, or where there’s pressure to conform to a specific ideology.
Examples:
- “You either believe and are with us or you’re out.” This statement leaves no room for questioning, doubting, or exploring different interpretations of the doctrine. This is heavily based in conformity and control.
- “We must completely reject all of our old practices, or we’ll fall back into legalism.” This reflects a fear-based approach that doesn’t allow for the possibility that some old practices might still be valuable or meaningful.
Binary thinking can limit personal growth and exploration. It creates a false dichotomy that doesn’t reflect the complexity of life, faith, or personal experience. Encouraging a more nuanced approach allows for a richer, more authentic journey.
6. Notice Shifts In Core Values
Sudden and complete shifts in what a person or community values, especially without a gradual transition, can indicate pendulum thinking. This often happens in response to disillusionment or burnout with a previous set of values, leading to a total abandonment of those values in favour of something new.
Examples:
- “We used to value relating and being modern, but now its all about tradition” This shift might leave behind valuable connection and community that still hold meaning for some members, creating a divide within the community.
- “Our church was all about service, but now we’re focused only on personal spiritual growth.” This reflects a swing from outward-focused activities to inward-focused practices, which can create an imbalance and neglect the importance of community service.
Sudden shifts in core values can destabilise individuals and communities, leading to confusion and a lack of continuity. It’s important to recognise that values can evolve over time without needing to be completely discarded or replaced. Finding a way to integrate old and new values can create a more stable and fulfilling experience.
Balance Is Necessary
Pendulum thinking is a natural response to the complexities and challenges of faith, especially in communities that have experienced rigid control or rapid change. However, swinging between extremes can leave individuals and communities feeling disoriented, fragmented, and unfulfilled. By recognizing the signs of pendulum thinking—whether it’s in the language we use, the decisions we make, or the values we hold—we can begin to cultivate a more balanced and nuanced approach to our spiritual journeys.
Balance doesn’t mean compromising our beliefs or values; it means finding a way to integrate different perspectives and experiences in a way that honors our growth and allows for continuous evolution. It’s about embracing the gray areas, recognizing that faith is not a static destination but a dynamic, ever-changing journey.
If you want to learn more about the concept of ‘pendulum thinking’, explore this in therapy or connect in any way. Reach out!
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