If you’re in the unfortunate position of having to maintain a long-distance relationship during social isolation, then you’ll probably be expecting it to take quite a toll on both of you and to test how much you really want to be with each other.
Being in a long-distance relationship is hard and it certainly does test your resolve, but it’s also key to remember that you already have something great going for you: the very fact that you’re trying shows that you must care a lot, and this means it’s very likely to all be worth it in the end.
And while maintaining a relationship over a long distance does take some extra work, there are a few things you can do that will certainly make it easier.
Maintain Constant Contact
Maintaining frequent contact is the single most important thing to do to ensure your relationship lasts across the distance. If you’re in a relationship, it only makes sense to be talking to them in some way, shape, or form on most days.
This might mean that you choose to call each other for half an hour before bed every night, or it might mean that you chat on Skype every other day and text a lot in-between.
Such constant contact will ensure you both know what’s going on in each other’s lives and help you feel close. When you talk, you won’t feel the need to catch up. You will be able to talk candidly about whatever’s on your mind.
If you are in a new relationship, this is going to be even more important. Take this opportunity to get to know one another for instance; when I first started dating my wife we lived in different states and so we made it a priority to talk every day and we used the first 6 months of our relationship to learn as much as we could about each other – the good the bad and the unusual.
Even across the miles, you’ll still be a big part of each other’s lives.
Long-Distance Schedule
Sometimes, you may have to take a rain check on that before-bed phone call, and that’s okay. It will help ensure that neither of you feels smothered by the other one.
Even so, it’s important to make an effort to commit to the call as often as you can. Otherwise, you’ll find yourselves growing more distant.
Recognise that you may have to move some things aside in order to make way for this relationship. Whether that means watching one less episode of a show you have been binge watching all day or getting up 30 min earlier if there is a time difference, whatever it is you will need to prioritise.
A relationship should take up your time, and that’s no different whether it’s long distance or not.
Be Fun and Spontaneous
Just because you’re not near each other doesn’t mean you can’t do fun and memorable things. You just have to be more creative.
Perhaps you could have a romantic date night through Skype where you each get dressed up and cook the same meal to enjoy with each other. Maybe you could watch a film at the same time or meet in virtual reality, or perhaps you could send a surprise gift. There are so many things being altered and added to the virtual world so that people can stay connected with other another – so there is no excuse!
Whatever you decide to do together, the important thing is that you do something. Make memories and keep things exciting, so you grow together.
And when you do get the chance to visit in person… make sure you go!
You Might Be Long-Distance But Be Realistic
Remember that every time you meet your partner in a long-distance relationship, you’ll most likely treat the occasion as special and make more effort to do nice things. Try to remember that this isn’t what a relationship is like when you live near each other or when you live together.
Sometimes it is important to try and experience a bit of ‘normality’ together, so how about spending a weekend doing nothing special, but doing it together either over the phone or video call?
It is a great way to make silence feel comfortable and less awkward – not needing to fill the space all the time.
A long-distance relationship can survive and even thrive during this season we are going through; and remember it is just that – a season. This will end and you will be able to go and visit, hug and kiss and simply be in the same room.
Look at it as an opportunity to work on characteristics of the relationship you might not have been able to if you were closer to each other’s location. You might not be closer in distance, but you will be closer in your connection.