Episode Summary
The powerful story of Grace, whose journey through religious trauma and identity is deeply intertwined with her experience of asexuality. Growing up in a strict Calvinistic Baptist church and hearing doctrines like total depravity and original sin led her to believe she was fundamentally broken. These messages shaped her early understanding of self-worth, shame, and sexuality.
After her family moved to New Zealand, Grace found herself in a Pentecostal Assemblies of God church—an environment that intensified purity culture and rigid gender expectations. As she questioned her beliefs, Grace also unpacked her asexuality and realised that religious spaces had often misinterpreted or erased her discomfort. Her story reminds us how hard it is to explore identity when fear and control shape the way you understand yourself.
Grace speaks openly about the emotional cost of masking her true self while living with pastor in-laws, and the grief that comes with leaving behind a belief system her family still embraces. Through it all, her connection to nature and a more agnostic spirituality has offered peace. This episode holds space for the complexity of asexuality, faith deconstruction, and reclaiming a life that feels like your own.
Who Is Grace?
Grace was born in England, moving to Aotearoa at age 13. Homeschooled throughout her upbringing in a conservative Christian family, though she no longer identifies with the faith. These days, she resonates more with agnostic or atheist perspectives.
Grace is neurodivergent and lives with anxiety and depression, and she’s currently awaiting an ADHD diagnosis. She is a survivor of child sexual assault and purity culture, and speaks openly about the long-term impacts of both. Grace identifies as asexual and demisexual and is married to an incredible man. She’s aesthetically attracted to both men and women (though she’ll tell you women take the lead there).
She’s currently studying psychology and working toward a career that reflects her lived experience and deep empathy for others.
Connect With Us
- You can connect with Grace via Instagram
- You can find out more about Sam on her website – www.anchoredcounsellingservices.com.au
- To connect with Sam on Instagram – @anchoredcounsellingservices
- Want to contact with Sam about the podcast or therapy? Use this contact form.
- Also check out The Religious Trauma Collective