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Hannah – The Deconstructing Damsel

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Sam

Beyond the Surface

Who is Hannah?

Hannah went from an evangelical Jesus-loving Christian to an agnostic atheist. Her journey started about over a year and a half ago, when her partner of 4 years called her out by telling her that she wasn’t really a Christian anymore and she is so glad that he did. It took 27 years for her to have her religious bubble finally popped for resulting in seeing all the bullshit and lies that she had been fed for years by the church. Now she is 29 soon to be 30 and still healing from the trauma that religion has left her with.

My Thoughts

Despite the distance between Australia and the US, there were so many similarities with Hannah’s story. This conversation is longer but it was just so easy, and it felt like we could have talked for hours.

Episode Summary

  • Hannah shares that she was raised in a family home, became an Evangelical Christian at an early age and then became heavily involved during her teenage years and young adulthood.
  • We discuss the impact of purity culture and the ongoing impact on her body.
  • We explore the exhaustion and guilt she felt that accompanied her ministry positions and the lack of compensation that isn’t offered for volunteers.
  • We discuss the brainwashing and indoctrination that occurs in the Evangelical Church and how she is trying to heal from the pressure to ‘save the world’.
  • Hannah shares how her perspective on prayer has changed and how she sometimes wishes that prayer did work.
  • With Christmas around the corner at the time of the recording, we discuss the complexities of Christmas and Easter for those with religious trauma.
  • Hannah shared the internal pressure to ‘be like Jesus’ and to be perfect; feeling like the system had set her up to fail.
  • Hannah explained that her perspective around the label Christian began to shift which spiralled into her deconstruction journey.
  • We discuss what it is like looking back on our previous versions of ourselves through Facebook memories.
  • We explored the guilt that is experienced and how those who leave the church are often misunderstood by those still in the church.
  • Hannah shares what her experience of deconstruction felt like and the role of grief.
  • We discuss whether someone really has a choice when they have experienced high levels of indoctrination.
  • Hannah talks about what brought her joy and peace while deconstruction.
  • Finally, Hannah answers the question “what would you say to someone who is freshly deconstructing?”