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Beyond Black and White: Embracing Nuanced Perspectives in Spirituality

Have you ever felt caught in rigid extremes, swinging between absolute certainty and paralysing doubt? Perhaps you have wondered why so many faith communities seem to demand all-or-nothing loyalty, leaving little room for the gray areas of real life?

I remember all too well, the distress it caused me that I could see both sides of situations, that I didn’t want to take a hard-line stance on certain issues. I was told that I was ‘sitting on the fence’ or ‘pandering to the world’. The truth is, that I wasn’t fitting the mould of what was acceptable thinking.

This is the essence of pendulum thinking. A mindset deeply ingrained in many church teachings that pushes us towards binary, either/or perspectives.

What Is Pendulum Thinking?

Pendulum thinking refers to a pattern of thought where you swing between two extreme positions without considering the middle ground.

Characterised by an all-or-nothing approach, often presenting situations as black or white, right or wrong, with no space for nuance or complexity. This type of thinking simplifies decision-making but can lead to rigid and inflexible viewpoints.

A few examples might include:

  • Moral Absolutism
    • Many religious teachings emphasise a strict moral code, classifying actions as either purely good or purely evil. Seen in teachings that categorise certain behaviours (e.g., homosexuality, premarital sex) as inherently sinful. Leaving no room for understanding individual circumstances or differing interpretations.
  • Faith vs Doubt
    • Many equate faith with complete certainty, while they view doubt as a lack of faith or a sign of spiritual failure. You feel compelled to suppress any doubts you have, leading to an internal struggle and fear of judgment or ostracism.
  • Inclusivity vs Exclusivity
    • Churches sometimes adopt an “in or out” mentality, expecting members to fully conform to a set of beliefs and practices. Those who question or deviate, even slightly, might face exclusion or marginalisation. This fosters a culture that values conformity over individual exploration and diversity of thought.

Why Pendulum Thinking Can Feel Comfortable

  1. Simplicity and Certainty – Pendulum thinking offers clear, straightforward answers in a complex world. It reduces ambiguity, making it easier for you to understand and follow religious teachings without grappling with difficult questions or moral dilemmas.
  2. Sense of Belonging – Adopting a black-and-white perspective fosters a strong sense of community and belonging. When you adhere to the same set of beliefs, you experience unity and shared purpose. This can be comforting, especially in a religious context where community support is crucial.
  3. Reduction of Cognitive Dissonance – Pendulum thinking minimises cognitive dissonance—the discomfort from holding conflicting thoughts or beliefs. By adhering to an all-or-nothing mindset, you avoid the mental strain of reconciling opposing viewpoints or uncertainties, maintaining a consistent and stable worldview.
  4. Authority and Control – Religious leaders use pendulum thinking to maintain authority and control within the community. Clear, unambiguous rules and beliefs discourage dissent and keep the congregation unified and aligned with the leadership’s vision.

What Is The Impact Of This?

From a personal perspective, this type of thinking meant that in some spaces I was very uneducated. When all of your information is filtered through one lens, you don’t get the whole picture. I have also seen it’s impact both psychologically and socially in friends and clients.

The anxiety, fear and guilt can feel overwhelming. Pendulum thinking can create a constant state of unease. The fear of being labeled as a sinner or a heretic for questioning or deviating from prescribed beliefs can be paralysing. Then when you fail to live up to these strict moral codes, the guilt is heavy.

Socially, we see division, exclusion and a lack of open dialogue. Pendulum thinking fosters an environment of division, where differing viewpoints become threats rather than opportunities for growth. It leads to fragmentation within communities, marginalising those who don’t conform.

Challenging Pendulum Thinking

Recognise and become aware of the thinking patterns.

  • Reflect on your beliefs – Are you viewing issues in black-and-white terms? Notice if you’re categorising ideas or people as entirely right or wrong, with no middle ground.
  • Look at your reactions – Pay attention to your reactions when faced with differing viewpoints. Do you experience intense discomfort or defensiveness? Recognising these reactions can be a sign of pendulum thinking at play.
  • Question any rigidity – Challenge any rigid standards or moral codes you’ve internalised. Ask yourself if these standards leave room for nuance and individual circumstances or if they enforce a one-size-fits-all approach.

Strategies for critical thinking and open-mindedness

  • Active Listening – Practice listening to others without immediately forming a judgment. Try to understand their perspective fully before responding. This can help you appreciate diverse viewpoints and avoid binary thinking.
  • Open-Ended Questions – Use questions that encourage exploration rather than simple yes/no answers. For example, ask, “What are the different perspectives on this issue?” or “How might this situation be understood from another angle?”
  • Diversify your content and reading – Expose yourself to a range of viewpoints by reading books, articles, and opinions from various sources. You might also choose to follow new accounts on social media that you might not normally. This broadens your understanding and helps you appreciate the complexity of different issues.
  • Reflect on Your Experiences – Regularly reflect on your own experiences and how they shape your beliefs. Consider how personal experiences might influence your views and whether they contribute to pendulum thinking.

Reflect, and Reflect Some More

Take a moment to consider how pendulum thinking might have influenced your own beliefs and interactions. Have you found yourself swinging between extremes, struggling with rigid standards, or feeling anxious about conforming to a binary perspective? Reflect on these experiences and how they’ve shaped your view of faith and community.

If you find yourself struggling with pendulum thinking or its effects, consider reaching out for support. Therapy can be a valuable resource for exploring these issues in a safe and constructive environment.

Feel free to contact me to discuss how we can work together to address and move beyond these patterns.