Episode Summary
Alanah delves into her journey of rewriting hymns for inclusivity, reflecting on her upbringing in a legalistic Christian environment where she struggled to find her place despite accepting the gospel. Music, particularly piano, played a significant role in her sense of belonging, fuelling her passion to pursue it professionally. Her time in worship school exposed her to intense experiences like prophecy and speaking in tongues, alongside fostering a personal connection with God.
We emphasise the importance of self-compassion when reflecting on past selves and discuss the manipulative tactics surrounding salvation. Alanah bravely shares her journey through internalized homophobia, coming to affirm herself after leaving her church and worship school due to her sexuality becoming public. We explore the layers of shame she faced and the process of relearning, including moving to a new state. Through trying on various identities, she ultimately finds peace with the label ‘Christian’ and reflects on her ongoing deconstruction journey.
Music remains a source of joy, and she offers valuable advice to those beginning their own deconstruction journey.
My Thoughts
I relate to so much of Alanah’s story – the shame that comes for Queer people of faith runs so deep. I also just love Alanah’s music, to rework songs that can hold pain into ones of joy and wholeness is powerful and has been a beautiful experience for me.
Alanah is fun, thoughtful, incredibly talented and I am certain that you will feel that warmth and relatability as you listen to her share her story.
More About Alanah
Alanah is a musician in Nashville, TN, USA. A songwriter and composer/producer, and right now is working on a therapeutic kind of project where she takes old Christian hymns and rewrites the lyrics to be affirming, open-minded, and focused on wholeness. She is working to create a safe place for people like herself who find themselves deconstructing after leaving a high-control religious environment, especially those who used to love the music part of church. She is passionate about working to dismantle the thick layers of shame that we put on ourselves to fit into a high control environment – especially those who are queer.
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